Parting Thoughts

Four months ago, I was leaning back comfortably against my dad's legs on the couch in my living room. Our Christmas tree was still up and lit, and my mom and sister and I had just finished one last game of Bananagrams. I was so nervous about leaving that I felt slightly nauseous, but I didn't want my family to worry so I tried to seem as calm as possible.

Four months ago, I had no idea why I was coming to Roma. I had never dreamed of studying in Roma, not even after I was first on the list to go. Since I was little, I wanted to be like Amy in Little Women and study in France. But for some reason (fate? divine intervention? luck?) I was venturing off to Roma for four long months that have turned out to be much too short.

I don't think the idea of going home will be truly real to me until I'm there, just like the idea of coming to Roma wasn't real until I settled into a routine of classes, churches, and cappuccini. I really didn't like this graffitied and dirty city when I got here, but now it has become an enormous part of who I am. Four months later, I love Roma, more than I love DC after two and a half years, and I thought I was really falling in love with DC. In four months, I've gotten to know Roma so well: I walk everywhere here, and I feel so comfortable exploring on my own. In only four months--in just one semester--Roma has truly let me make her my own.

And now I'm leaving. Tomorrow.

I've been repeating that statement all week in an attempt to make it real, but I still have a hard time believing it. It's strange to think of this entire experience just...ending. It's like travelling to the USA is 'spring break part five', but we're not coming back for another three weeks in Roma this time. In fact, we won't be coming back here ever.

Sure, any of us might return to Roma in the future, but it will never be like this ever again. We won't be allowed to stay in the same Trastevere apartments or hang out in the courtyard. We probably won't be able to revisit our studio space with the prow overlooking Campo. The walk back to a hotel at night won't be the same as the walk back from studio through the backstreets of the Theater of Pompey/Campo area, down Via Arenula, across the Ponte Garibaldi (with a glance left to Tiber Island then right to St. Peter's Dome), left along the right bank of the river, straight past the Agip gas station, and right onto Vicolo di Santa Maria in Cappella.

Coming back in the unknown and distant future, Roma will be an entirely new adventure. But, then, that's exciting, too.